February 29. 2007
In a stunning reversal, the Recall Joe Mosca movement has named local media mogul, Beth Buck as it's replacement City Council Member for Mosca.
Buck, publisher of the Downtown Dirt Website, has been a long time supporter of Mosca said, "While I didn't vote for the son of a bitch, in fact, I couldn't stand him because he was part of the 2 whatever movement, but since he flip flopped on his campaign promises, I thought to myself, "Self, I kind of like the guy now and I'm going to promote him on my unbiased dirty dog sh*t website. However, I want the prick out of office so I can one day be Mayor."
Continuning to ramble, Buck asserted, "my well documented unbiased attitude and strong belief that I am smarter and a way way better writer than Susan Henderson or Katina Dunn, plus the fact I've got the best read media source in California, with 974 million hits makes me highly qualified to spout my opinions as fact and my legions of followers rival Rev. Jim Jones."
Unable to make any sense of what she was saying, the Recall Joe Mosca leaders are certain that Buck will make a perfect addition to the City Council. "She can ask as many dumb questions, ramble nonsense, be an excellent town scold, scream incoherently and waste money with the best of them", said Pete Spenser, President of the Recall Joe Mosca campaign.
The Recall Joe Mosca campaign has already gathered 65 million signatures, rivaling the number of hits on the downtown dog sh*t dirt website. Mosca will be rolled out of town in a former Howies grocery cart during a centennial ceremony held during the annual Wisteria Festival.
As the new City CouncilMember, Buck is scheduled to be sworn in on March 22nd, but Buck stated that she may not be available because of prior committments as featured speaker at the National Association of Unbiased Journalists convention in Washington D.C.
The National Association of Journalists declined an interview at the risk of being "boycotted".
The Association issued a brief terse statement defending Buck's website, "It is the constituional right to publish dog shit, even in the name of unbiased and exaggerated journalism and we stand by the right of every American to publish dog shit and parodies of local citizens. It may stink, but dog shit online journalism has it's place, mainly the dumpster."
The leaders for the Recall Mosca movement are undetterred in their support of Buck, stating she is the best, smartest, greatest, most pleasant, friendliest, journalistic and without doubt, the most unbiased person in Sierra Madre and will save the city from certain ruin.
Calls to the downtown dog sh*t dirt website were not returned because of the fear of being "boycotted".
