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February 29, 2007 - Sierra Madre, California.
An investiation is underway by the Sierra Madre Police Department regarding a crime wave of graffiti spraying on local city signs. A slew of signs are being defaced with the ad slogan, "downtown dirt", said a SMPD spokesman, who declined to be identified at the risk of being "boycotted".
"So far, the juvenile spray painting has only been advertising a highly popular and unbiased website, known for its impeccable journalistic credentials, but we are concerned that other media outlets will resort to this guerilla marketing tactic", said a spokesman for the Police Department.
The spokesman, who again declined to be identifed in fear of being "boycotted", added, "we are certain that other media giants such as the Sierra Madre Cumtwat will soon follow suit with such tactics.
The Cumtwat publisher, Jim Snider is already facing charges of malicious defacement as he is accused of writing on the walls of Men's bathrooms - "For a good time - call Jimmy Boi @ the Cumtwat" on the Men's bathroom walls at the Buc and also at Heasley Field.
Local newspaper publisher, Susan Henderson, an angry white person said, "It surprises me that the durt website will stoop to such tactics. They are up to 14 gazillion hits and certainly don't need the exposure. They are already filled with advertisers."
Mayor, John Buckhanon lambasted the website publisher for defacing city property, "Hell, it's no surprise since most of what the website publishes is dog shit, smells like dog shit and is in fact dog shit, that the publisher is defacing city owned dog shit signs at Mt. Wilson Trail and the Dog Park."
Former Mayor, Rob Stocbuckley chided the website, "I guess from now on the website will be known as dog shit, but at least it still isn't biased dog shit."
Former Mayor, Clem Buckcladiddlehopper, denounced the website, "Ever since they added smell o vision to the website, I can't get the smell of dog shit out of my hair. I kept checking my shoes and realized the dog shit was coming from the computer. I've had to paint my office twice to get rid of the dog shit smell."
An advertising spokesman for "Moe's Tattoo Parlor" said it was cancelling it's advertising contract with the website, "the website didn't want cash or a check for advertising, they wanted us to pay them with big piles of dog shit, which kept us at the dog park for hours on every Saturday."
The spokesman for Moe's said it won't advertise anywhere else in Sierra Madre at the risk of being "boycotted".
Calls to the dog shit downtown dirt website publisher were not returned.
